Welcome to parenthood! What an exciting time you are living in. Congratulations! Whether you are a new adoptive parent, or you conceived and gave birth, welcome. This transition to parenthood is new, it is different, it is nothing you have experienced before. This is something you will experience for the first time and only once. This shift in livelihood is a positive thing. But your life is going to go through some great change. You have probably heard tips and tricks from friends and family, but keep in mind every experience is different. No two experiences are the same. Do not have high expectations or perceptions set, do not let someone else’s experiences or advice taint yours, and do not let social media or social norms influence your emotions or behavior. You need to enjoy your own moments and your own experiences as new parents.

This is not only a change for you as an individual, but also as a couple. You are not experiencing this alone. You are a team, use each other and support one another. Accepting help from your partner, friends, or family is important in these first few weeks of parenthood. Do not be afraid to ask for more help. If you see certain chores need to be get done and you are unable to do so, your partner can help you. As we develop as a society, trends have changed, fathers are taking a more active role in parenting (Bigner & Gerdhardt, 2019). Fathers are more characterized now as “nurturing and equal co-parents” (Palkovitz, Christiansen, & Dunn, [57]; Pleck, [60], as cited in Kushner et al., 2015). This “directs men to be more ‘involved as hands-on, emotional fathers’” (Finn & Henwood, [25], p. 548, as cited in Kushner et al., 2015). With this happening, the transition to parenthood can be more smooth when regular household tasks are divided and negotiated (Bigner, & Gerhardt, 2019). Sharing, or better distributing these roles limits unnecessary stress on new parents.
Due to the lack of personal time and space, a couple could experience a role strain (Bigner & Gerdhardt, 2019). It is important to continue to keep your romantic connection strong in your partnership. Often times with this transition, there is a, “loss of individuality and couplehood” (Lévesque et al., 2020). This happens when the couple is overwhelmed with the number of things on their plate and spread themselves too thin. “The quality of the relationship between the mother and the father is one of the key contributors to the adjustment to parenthood, especially for first‐time parents. In many cases, new parents report a reduction of their satisfaction with their relationship in the months following childbirth (e.g., Belsky, [ 3] ; Cowan & Cowan, [ 15] ; Gjerdingen & Center, [ 24] ; Levy‐Shiff, [ 33], as cited in Parfitt & Ayers, 2014).

Learning and adjusting to take care of yourself is equally as important. Having a child takes more time, attention, and energy than anything else in the home. Any time you get an opportunity to rest, take it, you need to be taken care of in order to successfully take care of others. The house might be messy, laundry might need to be done, or dishes need to be put away. But the world will not end if the dishes sit out for a week or you forget to take the trash cans to the curb. With having a newborn child and being a new parent there is a lot to handle, it is a new learning curve, and a new adjustment. Trying to add more on your plate is not necessary. Taking a breath of fresh air when given the opportunity will help you have more energy to put towards your newborn and to your relationship. You need to be aware of these tendencies when you do make that transition to parenthood.

Once again, welcome to this new life with your sweet child. Soak in every moment possible and remember how you feel, remember the sweet moments, the silly ones, even the rough ones. These moments only come once.

Resources

Bigner, J. J., & Gerhardt, C. (2019). Parent-child relations: an introduction to parenting. Pearson.

Kushner, K., Sopcak, N., Breitkreuz, R., Pitre, N., Williamson, D., Rempel, G., … Letourneau, N. (2015). On shifting ground: First-time parents’ ideal world of paid work and family time. Community, Work & Family, 20(2), 119–141. https://doi.org/10.1080/13668803.2015.1074546

Lévesque, S., Bisson, V., Charton, L., & Fernet, M. (2020). Parenting and Relational Well-being During the Transition to Parenthood: Challenges for First-time Parents. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 29(7), 1938–1956. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-020-01727-z

Parfitt, Y., & Ayers, S. (2014). Transition To Parenthood And Mental Health In First-Time Parents. Infant Mental Health Journal, 35(3), 263–273. https://doi.org/10.1002/imhj.21443